Let's Have (More) New Dreams!

I was 10 years old when I cried my heart out and begged and demanded my dad to work abroad. In New York to be specific.
But anywhere will do as long as we live and work abroad.
Silly huh?
The obnoxious crying was rendered when I heard one of my bestfriends at that time had to leave since her father was assigned to New Jersey!
Boy was I green with envy.

My father's reaction at that time (smirked while asking my mom: where did she get the idea? and turned to me and said, do you think it's that simple huh?) has triggered my ultimate goal in life:
To work and live abroad.
Again, anywhere will do.

I didn't give up the next year.
Especially when I heard that my friend and her sisters were going to US to enroll in a summer course programme held by an english course institution.
I did the same trick.
I begged and I begged and cried my heart out.
It didn't work.
My mom sternly said no to the idea of letting an 11 years old going alone to another continent.
So she said to me:
"Don't ask too much..."
So I told her, I won't mom...but be prepared, once I ask for something, they would be costly.
But I think that's the fairest way, since I literally never rarely asked anything (the clothes, the toys, the bag).

I finally got my 11-years-old dream when I was 21 year old.
Yup, during a semester break in college, out of the blue, my dad offered me to go to Aussie for 2 months to attend summer school!
He didn't forget!
Since he paid for it, I made a promise to myself and him that this experience would be rewarding.
My confidence was suddenly boosted after I came back from the course.
So I joined an Asian law student organization in college until I got appointed as the chairman.
I travelled to many cities in Indonesia and several countries in Asia. For free!
It was amazing!

During those days, NOT ONCE..I repeat NOT ONCE I experienced thing called homesick.
NEVER.
My parents got used to it.
I just casually informed them (not asking for permission, just a statement) that I would be going to blablabla in couple of days and will come back on blablabla..

Another goal is to study abroad.
Same old-same old trick (you know the crying and whining).
Same old-same old answers (Sorry dear, we can't afford it now...maybe next time...).
So couple of months later I (again) casually told them that I got the scholarship and will be going in the next couple of months.
Hence the Xinjiapo and my first encounter with Anak Joglo.

Basically, ALMOST all of my dreams came true.
And I enjoyed the experience very much.
Only one thing left.
getting marriedWorking abroad.
Luckily the opportunity came and I grabbed it quickly!

I seriously thought that living this dream would give me the same excitement feeling when I lived the previous others.
It actually did, for the first months.

But 2 months ago, my boss(es) has conveyed to me their plan to keep me working here much longer.
much much longer until indefinite period.
They tempted me with the thought of working here in Singapore and postpone the setting up of their Indo office.
I was tempted. At the beginning.
I mean, come on, that has been my dream since forever!
If they asked me couple years ago, I would say yes without any doubt!

But then the happy news came.
And all of sudden, I finally experienced the thing called homesick!
Whaaattt????
It's only Singapore and I felt homesick??

I miss Anak Joglo and feel really bad seeing him getting skinnier, darker (lebay) but with bigger round belly like Puss In Boots
I miss my family so much!!
I miss my mom's cooking badly!
And funny fact, in the beginning of my pregnancy, I could not eat or smell rice..it would make me vomit.
But when I came home I could eat 2 (!) plates of my mom's cooking everyday.

Funny huh, in just couple of weeks you suddenly feel like it is no longer your dream anymore?

So I whine, complain and cried (a little bit) to Anak Joglo and pray that there will be a way to come home.
And there it was.
A way.
2 weeks ago I came home to Jakarta and did an interview in a company.
And 2 days ago they called and informed me that I got the job.
Despite the fact that I'm pregnant.

The salary is slightly lower than I got now.
And I have to repay all of the benefits I have got to the firm

And say good bye to THR *terkering*.
And I am very aware that I eventually could not claim myself as a so-called-lawyer anymore.
I am an in-house counsel now.
And will live a very boring life
But I have no regrets.

So I tender my resignation dan menggunakan alesan kehamilan dan urusan keluarga sebagai excuse and asked my parents' permission (!) for me to resign.
And their responses are:
"As long as you're happy dear..we always pray and support your decision"

So, congratulations Kiddo!
You're not even here yet but I already have a soft spot for you!
you have changed me dammit!
Me! the queen of ice!
The person who never has "getting married" and "have babies" in her dreams list!

Believe me, me coming home would be the best decision for you..
Your dad can take care of me (and I can make him fat again since his partner-in-crime in hunting delicious foods has come back),
and we can eat your grandma's cookings all the time..
woo hoo!!!

And most importantly, hopefully in Indonesia I don't need the gesture of "knock on wood" any longer and with a bit of luck you won't smell like onion...
The people are nicer in Indonesia, kiddo (fingers crossed).

Oh, and if you ever read this,
Please learn something...
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM!
BUT......
Please don't use the same old trick as I did...seriously, whinning and crying is annoying

YET...
If one day you feel like you want to give up your dream for something bigger and really important, that's ok too...

Like I did...
I trade my old dream with something bigger..
They are:
Anak Joglo (182cm)
and you kiddo (my bigger belly).
Then again, we could have another new dreams...

So, no worries,
and no regrets..
So, Anak Joglo...
See you in the next 3 weeks!!
I'm coming home baby!!!
For good!

And it feels good....